So, it’s been a while since I updated you all on my Long-Distance shenanigans and what happened after he tricked me in to saying yes to marrying him. If you missed that part of the story, you can read about how I was conned here. If you did read the trickery from my betrothed, then read on and I’ll tell you all about our recent(ish) adventures.
Well, there are many things that are terrible about LDRs, the list is practically endless. You have the separation, lack of physical contact, shitty internet while trying to make Skype calls; you also have in some cases time differences, money issues and conflicting schedules. There are so many things in an LDR that suck; but, there are some things in an LDR that are just great and make things extra special. For instance, December 2016 was the first year that I had spent with my OH for Christmas and NY.
So, after being in a relationship for six long years and despite being newly engaged, we had still never spent Christmas, New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day physically together. It was time, finally to do that. So that is one of the things, for me that is beneficial about a LDR – even after 6 years together we still manage to have our ‘firsts’.
Peter informed me that he was able to come for Christmas, and I won’t lie but I was incredibly excited. More excited than I am for cake, anyone who knows me will know how excited that is. He’s clearly a lucky man. I love him more than cake. Sometimes.
For me Christmas is magic, there’s just something about it that I love. I never used to love it, the allure wore off once I was old enough and cheeky enough to find where my mother hid the Christmas presents and sneak a peek at them. I have very little patience. But, once I had a child that magic came back, and Christmas became about family time and it was about time that I was able to spend that time with all of my family. And, I do mean all of them. So, not only was this the first time that he would spend this time with me. It was also the first time that he would sit down with my parents and share a meal. It was all happening!
December 2016 wasn’t just something that I was excited about, it was also something that my son was excited about too. Now, as his father and I aren’t together we usually alternate Christmas, and it was his dads Christmas to have him. My son decided that he was going to instead spend Christmas with Peter and I because it was something that he had never experienced and he wanted to. So, with that everything was planned. His plane was due to arrive on the 22nd December and we were due to have an amazing first Christmas together.
Peter isn’t overly keen on Christmas, it’s not that he dislikes it, he just doesn’t see what all the fuss is about. As such, I intended to show him all the magic that Christmas contains. Instead what happened was his flight was packed and delayed due to weather conditions which left him stranded in Iceland for a day. He vowed then that he would never again travel at Christmas time. So, by his own words this would be not only our first Christmas together, but also the last Christmas together until the distance was no more. Sad.
So, with that in mind I went about planning the Christmas activities. Each year my son, niece and I make our own Christmas decorations. This year we obviously had another addition to the crafting party. And the four of us got to work with some penguin decorations. Later, the three of us made our own decoration to celebrate or first Christmas together and to have its own place on the tree for many years to come. We chose a ceramic heart, pained our initials on to it and our finger prints in a flowered design. I wish I would have got an individual picture of it before it went away with the Christmas decorations ready to come out again next year.
Although Peter is aware of how much we put in to Christmas, I don’t think he fully realised until he was here. He’d question a lot of the stuff I’d do – Is the bow on the wrapping paper necessary? Well, yes. Yes, it is. What does it matter if the Tesco delivery didn’t contain the trifle sponges? Or, is it really the end of the world to find out an item doesn’t have batteries included when you’re wrapping it up on Christmas Eve? These are some of the questions that Peter posed throughout his Christmas trip, mostly these kinds of questions were in an exasperated voice as I flailed around the place stressed and trying to make everything perfect. He’d soon learn that he’d just have to hush up and put up.
Next on the Christmas Eve list of activities that he wasn’t overly excited for, but participated in; and, I believe secretly loved was the creation of the ginger bread houses. Again, this is a yearly tradition in which my niece (I’m pretty sure she secretly lives here), my mums adopted child, my son and I create ginger bread house masterpieces. Kind of. Less of a masterpiece and more of a master mess while we shove more sweets in our gobs than we put on the house. We made messes, squirted frosting at each other while listening to the delightful tunes of ‘Now That’s What I Call Christmas’.
After we cleaned up the frosting and removed the mass amount of sugary goodness from the living room we put the child to bed and soon after transitioned to Santa. My son is 9, so this was really the last Christmas that we’d put out milk and cookies for Santa, and that presents would be put under the tree in hushed voices, perfectly placed for maximum WOW factor when he woke up ridiculously early the next morning.
It wasn’t my son that woke up early the next morning though, it was in fact – you guessed it, Peter. We deliberated in whispers about how appropriate it was to wake a sleeping child at 5am, because he, the ‘adult’ was excited for Christmas. We decided that it was indeed appropriate, I say we. I do in fact mean he decided and as such went less about the whispering and verged more on the accidentally on purpose making noise. It was clearly going to be a very long day as now we had a child awake at 5am, and a lovely dinner to go to with my immediate family later in the day. It was clear to me then, Peter is a sucker for punishment.
Christmas day was amazing, and all the better for having Peter there! My son loved it! We spent the morning opening presents, playing video games and breaking open Geodes with a hammer in the garden; an activity that ended up including my neighbours. They heard the ruckus and decided to see what the noise was and got caught up in the excitement. Who knew that breaking open rocks on Christmas morning could become a neighbourly exertion.
Soon after we got everything ready to venture to my parents for dinner. Although Peter and I had been together for a relatively long time, due to the long-distance aspect of our relationship mixed with the fact that my family are funny fuckers this was going to be the first time that Peter and they would have dinner together. He’d met both my parents before, and my sister; but this was the first time he was going to meet my brother, his family and some of my aunties and uncles. It was pretty nerve wracking, since it was well established that my family didn’t think much of Peter. Well, by that I mean they didn’t really know him. They knew we met online, they knew he was from Canada and as far as my mother was concerned she also knew that he must be either only with me for a visa, because, why not and if he wasn’t with me for a visa then the only other logical explanation must be that he’s a serial killer.
I’d like to be joking, but I’m not. As far as my parents were concerned I didn’t know Peter, when he was in Canada and not with me he was obviously with his family, he clearly had a wife and was lying to me about every single thing. And, I was too stupid to realise. So, dinner was going to be fun!
Strangely enough dinner was actually quite fun, it went really well. Peter helped my dad fix his computer. He also helped my mum set up her new phone and helped my cousin with her phone issues too. Peter likes technology, so he was able to help them all with their technological woes – this did score him some plus points in my families’ eyes. They still didn’t fully trust him. But, after six years of being considered ‘my friend, what’s his name’ they now actually used his name. Progress! My mother still hasn’t called him my BF or -gasp- my fiancé but she at least realises that he has a name now.
Maybe we could all play a little game on how long it will take my parents to even consider us as a couple? Let me know your guesses!
After that the rest of the two weeks went by rather quickly, we spent time as a family watching movies, and playing games. Jigsaws were completed, and we taught my son a different type of gaming, one that doesn’t involve a control pad or keyboard. These were in the form of Forbidden Island and Eldritch Horror; since both of these are coop survival games it eliminated any upsetness and tantrums that can occur when we play board games with my child.
We also played games that did involve a control pad, Mario Kart 8 championships were had, I mean it had to be done! Peter obviously ‘cheated’ because he won. And as far as I’m concerned, that’s unacceptable.
Not long after Christmas came another first NYE and NYD together. We spent the evening watching movies while drinking coco, and the night was spent with little man sitting firmly on Peters shoulders watching the fireworks. NYD wasn’t immensely eventful and consisted of much of the same!
And then came our last day together, and another first. It was Peters birthday. The first (of I hope many) that we’d spend physically together. My son had planned a surprise picnic for Peter, and since it was 5th January we obviously had it in the living room. He loved being able to give Peter his card and birthday present. And later in the evening he relished in presenting Peter with a surprise birthday cake and our off-key, yet incredibly enthusiastic rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’.
And that was that, early the next morning Peter left to go back to Canada, and as usual it sucked – this is for me the worst thing about LDRs.
But, hey; maybe Christmas is magic after all, as when he got home Peter decided that he no longer wanted to wait the minimum of three years until we were together on a more permanent basis. He was going to start the paperwork within the next month or so and apply for a visa. But, you’ll have to find out how the process for that went next time.
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